i had a dream last night
yea, so this quite possibly could be the most fucked up dream i've had. well, i don't know. i used to have a recurring dream when i was younger. it is hard to explain but i'll do my best.
in this dream there would be this line, a line that looked like a thick, single strand of black hair. this vertical line would just be chillin right, and then this huge ass boulder type of paper circle cut out would be rolling slowly towards the vertical line. i would always wake up right before the circle rolled over the line. i would wake up in terror. this dream horrified me. i think i thought that i was the line. like i was trapped inside of it or something, and that i was about to get crushed. but they were just inanimate objects and they scared the shit out of me. the dream would repeat and be exactly the same night after night. holy crap it was scary.
ok, well me being a pansy "girly man" is not the purpose of this post. get over it. so i had a dream last night... it went a lil something like this:
i was chillin somewhere warm with some friends. i didn't really know who they were, but in this dream we were friends. somehow i ended up visiting the president of the country. so i'm in his office and we're talking. he's got a body guard and everything. his office doors are reached through the secretary's office. that office's doors are opened after getting off elevators. yea i know its kind of backwards but you'll get it in a second or two.
we get into a little discussion (me and pres-y). well, for some reason i start bashing his governing. i dislike how he runs his country. this does not please him. so after a while i decide to bounce. i'm like, f this, i'm going to drink with my friends. i ended up in the pres's office while i was out looking for some mangos. i needed mangos for the alcoholic drink we were going to make (me and my friends). by the way, i suck at story telling. i'm telling everything backwards. but stfu. i don't give a f. uck. oh yeah, and before all of this i was in a house and we were playing drinking games. i also had bought a puppy dog. it was a white and orangeish husky type of looking dog. it was awesome. it was shittin and pissin all over the person's house. i was amused.
SORRY. i'm back on track now. so i'm walking out of the pres's office cuz he's a tool. i get into the secretary's office and she's not there anymore. i look at the wall that faces her desk and there is hella food. like gourmet shit. there is a huge slab of raw salmon on ice. and by huge slab i mean like the whole fuckin fish. this bad boy needed two hands to carry. it was probably 4 feet long. well cuz i'm pissed, and always hungry, i gank the salmon. and the huge knife next to it. so i burst out the doors and i hurry to the elevators. i push the button and it is taking forever. i freak out cuz i hear someone coming. conveniently there was a closet near by so i darted into it. it had those slanted wood slot things so i could see what was going on outside. i see a fat guy walk up to the elevators and wait. i'm thinkin sweet. F. well, the elevator opens and so does the closet door. some fucker needed to get a coat from inside it. (wait a tick... we're on a hot island.) so i flip out. i drop the huge knife and sprint to the elevator. i get in just as it is closing.
the fat man is just looking at me. staring. i stand in the back left corner of it clutching on to my fish for dear life. he walks up to me and starts talking to me. he's one of the types that has no sense of personal space. so he's basically making out with me when he talks. he asks me "what kind of underwear are you wearing?" i was like "what the fuck?!" he says "what kind are you wearing?" i told him "uh, i'm not wearing any." i wasn't trying to hit on him, but i just blurted out the truth. F. he tells me "i'm wearing pink ones. with lace on top" i just about vomited. the elevator doors open and i shove him. i see and opening and before running out of the elevator i slap the fucker with my big ass fish. it's enough to knock him back and i ran to save my anal virginity.
i think that's all that happened. i bet i forgot some stuff but, whatever. you get the point. i had a fucked up dream.
the end.
"they're breakdance fighting!"
in this dream there would be this line, a line that looked like a thick, single strand of black hair. this vertical line would just be chillin right, and then this huge ass boulder type of paper circle cut out would be rolling slowly towards the vertical line. i would always wake up right before the circle rolled over the line. i would wake up in terror. this dream horrified me. i think i thought that i was the line. like i was trapped inside of it or something, and that i was about to get crushed. but they were just inanimate objects and they scared the shit out of me. the dream would repeat and be exactly the same night after night. holy crap it was scary.
ok, well me being a pansy "girly man" is not the purpose of this post. get over it. so i had a dream last night... it went a lil something like this:
i was chillin somewhere warm with some friends. i didn't really know who they were, but in this dream we were friends. somehow i ended up visiting the president of the country. so i'm in his office and we're talking. he's got a body guard and everything. his office doors are reached through the secretary's office. that office's doors are opened after getting off elevators. yea i know its kind of backwards but you'll get it in a second or two.
we get into a little discussion (me and pres-y). well, for some reason i start bashing his governing. i dislike how he runs his country. this does not please him. so after a while i decide to bounce. i'm like, f this, i'm going to drink with my friends. i ended up in the pres's office while i was out looking for some mangos. i needed mangos for the alcoholic drink we were going to make (me and my friends). by the way, i suck at story telling. i'm telling everything backwards. but stfu. i don't give a f. uck. oh yeah, and before all of this i was in a house and we were playing drinking games. i also had bought a puppy dog. it was a white and orangeish husky type of looking dog. it was awesome. it was shittin and pissin all over the person's house. i was amused.
SORRY. i'm back on track now. so i'm walking out of the pres's office cuz he's a tool. i get into the secretary's office and she's not there anymore. i look at the wall that faces her desk and there is hella food. like gourmet shit. there is a huge slab of raw salmon on ice. and by huge slab i mean like the whole fuckin fish. this bad boy needed two hands to carry. it was probably 4 feet long. well cuz i'm pissed, and always hungry, i gank the salmon. and the huge knife next to it. so i burst out the doors and i hurry to the elevators. i push the button and it is taking forever. i freak out cuz i hear someone coming. conveniently there was a closet near by so i darted into it. it had those slanted wood slot things so i could see what was going on outside. i see a fat guy walk up to the elevators and wait. i'm thinkin sweet. F. well, the elevator opens and so does the closet door. some fucker needed to get a coat from inside it. (wait a tick... we're on a hot island.) so i flip out. i drop the huge knife and sprint to the elevator. i get in just as it is closing.
the fat man is just looking at me. staring. i stand in the back left corner of it clutching on to my fish for dear life. he walks up to me and starts talking to me. he's one of the types that has no sense of personal space. so he's basically making out with me when he talks. he asks me "what kind of underwear are you wearing?" i was like "what the fuck?!" he says "what kind are you wearing?" i told him "uh, i'm not wearing any." i wasn't trying to hit on him, but i just blurted out the truth. F. he tells me "i'm wearing pink ones. with lace on top" i just about vomited. the elevator doors open and i shove him. i see and opening and before running out of the elevator i slap the fucker with my big ass fish. it's enough to knock him back and i ran to save my anal virginity.
i think that's all that happened. i bet i forgot some stuff but, whatever. you get the point. i had a fucked up dream.
the end.
"they're breakdance fighting!"
posted by icon at 1:42 PM
1 Comments:
omg, mike. and you hate it when i say you are a good writer. who else can write stuff like this--and say stuff this way?
ok, to make you happier--you suck.
the end.
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