hooray for kids.
i just got home from circuit city. i followed a school bus for part of the drive back home. this triggered a great memory from my past. this is just a good news day. ay.
ho-kay. when i was a little asian child i was vulgar, obnoxious, terrorizing and full of myself. i used to think i was super awesome and a bad ass. i was one of the popular and "cool" kids in school. me and my best friend luke were the coolest kids at coleytown elementary.
it was fifth grade and we were the absolute shit. we ran the gig. ya mean? we sat at the back of the bus and did whatever we pleased. spit balls, bus surfing, the works. i'll give you a short example to prove that i was a dick hole and indeed a bad ass when i was younger.
do you remember the pieces of brown tape they used to put on the back of seats that got slashed open? you know, to stop kids from reaching in and pulling out all the foam? well yeah. there was a little greek boy that i used to pick on. i forget his name, but it's not too important. one day i found duct tape on the seat infront of me. it covered a slash in a seat minus lots of foam. it also covered the spot where brown tape used to be. if you haven't guessed by now, i made the cut in the seat, and removed foam, and took off the tape.
well duct tape is much more adhesive than the brown tape. i took the liberty of removing it, and placed it on top of greek boy's head. he started crying and then got off at his house. he had a big black mop on his head. the next day he came to school, he had a buzz cut. mruahahaha.
now that you know how awesome i was, i take you back to my story. well me and some other sweet ass kids used to play a little game on the ride home from school. we would drive home on the highway and there were always plenty of cars on the road. we used to give people "the thumbs up". mind you we're little cute 5th graders. if they refused to give us the thumbs up back, we'd flip them off. the best part of this game is that if they did give us the thumbs up, we'd flip them off hardcore. like we'd put up both birds, cross them, give them the "up yours" gesture, all of that jazz.
well, one time we were playing this game a guy and his girlfriend were in the car behind us. he gave us thumbs up, and we flipped him off. you should have seen the fucker. he lit right up. he started cussin at us, flippin us off, etc. he got so riled up that his girlfriend was pulling down his arm that was flipping us off and hitting his arm to stop. we were practically crying we were laughing so hard. imagine a grown man getting red in the face with anger at a couple 5th graders for being flipped off in front of his girlfriend. it was classic.
ok... back to present day. do you see where this story is going? (yea sorry. this isn't really a story. moreover, it is several stories mushed together. i such at writing. blow me.)i was walking home from class a few months ago. it was a sunny day in west lafayette and there was a school bus full of kids parked out infront of my dorm. i'm the only kid in sight and i'm walking towards this bus. roughly 50 kids are all starring me down. watching me like hawks. i turn my attention to the back of the bus. a little white kid with spiked hair gave me a thumb up. i smiled and shot my thumb up for the lil chap.
after he saw me put up my thumb he flipped me off. YES!!!! i started laughing. i applauded the young prodigy. he just looked at me with a strange disbelief. he had no idea what had just happened. i loved it.
ho-kay. when i was a little asian child i was vulgar, obnoxious, terrorizing and full of myself. i used to think i was super awesome and a bad ass. i was one of the popular and "cool" kids in school. me and my best friend luke were the coolest kids at coleytown elementary.
it was fifth grade and we were the absolute shit. we ran the gig. ya mean? we sat at the back of the bus and did whatever we pleased. spit balls, bus surfing, the works. i'll give you a short example to prove that i was a dick hole and indeed a bad ass when i was younger.
do you remember the pieces of brown tape they used to put on the back of seats that got slashed open? you know, to stop kids from reaching in and pulling out all the foam? well yeah. there was a little greek boy that i used to pick on. i forget his name, but it's not too important. one day i found duct tape on the seat infront of me. it covered a slash in a seat minus lots of foam. it also covered the spot where brown tape used to be. if you haven't guessed by now, i made the cut in the seat, and removed foam, and took off the tape.
well duct tape is much more adhesive than the brown tape. i took the liberty of removing it, and placed it on top of greek boy's head. he started crying and then got off at his house. he had a big black mop on his head. the next day he came to school, he had a buzz cut. mruahahaha.
now that you know how awesome i was, i take you back to my story. well me and some other sweet ass kids used to play a little game on the ride home from school. we would drive home on the highway and there were always plenty of cars on the road. we used to give people "the thumbs up". mind you we're little cute 5th graders. if they refused to give us the thumbs up back, we'd flip them off. the best part of this game is that if they did give us the thumbs up, we'd flip them off hardcore. like we'd put up both birds, cross them, give them the "up yours" gesture, all of that jazz.
well, one time we were playing this game a guy and his girlfriend were in the car behind us. he gave us thumbs up, and we flipped him off. you should have seen the fucker. he lit right up. he started cussin at us, flippin us off, etc. he got so riled up that his girlfriend was pulling down his arm that was flipping us off and hitting his arm to stop. we were practically crying we were laughing so hard. imagine a grown man getting red in the face with anger at a couple 5th graders for being flipped off in front of his girlfriend. it was classic.
ok... back to present day. do you see where this story is going? (yea sorry. this isn't really a story. moreover, it is several stories mushed together. i such at writing. blow me.)i was walking home from class a few months ago. it was a sunny day in west lafayette and there was a school bus full of kids parked out infront of my dorm. i'm the only kid in sight and i'm walking towards this bus. roughly 50 kids are all starring me down. watching me like hawks. i turn my attention to the back of the bus. a little white kid with spiked hair gave me a thumb up. i smiled and shot my thumb up for the lil chap.
after he saw me put up my thumb he flipped me off. YES!!!! i started laughing. i applauded the young prodigy. he just looked at me with a strange disbelief. he had no idea what had just happened. i loved it.
posted by icon at 5:23 PM
1 Comments:
mike, i think this is my favorite story of yours so far. i give it (pun intended) two big thumbs up!--yours!
haha. i love you. i mean in a you-are-a-stranger-on-the-internet-who-writes-funny-stories-that-i-like-to-read sort of way and nothing more whatsoever. promise. :o)
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