21 anniversary
i celebrated my 21st date of birth as soon as the clock struck 11:56pm saturday july 16th. the bars let me in ILLEGALLY. mruahaha. that wasn't the first time. but whatever stfu.
i went to the bars with some friends for some intoxication. might i add, it was quite a success. the first bar i went to was called Jake's. There i listened to, and sang along with some fine tunes. i belted out bohemian raphsody (fuck you english and your spelling.). what a fantastic way to start the night. there i drank my first pitcher of killian's legally. with a straw. that's how i do. pitcher + straw = good times. after i finished the pitcher i took a piss cause my friends wanted to move the party over to a different bar.
i'm getting ahead of myself. Jake's on saturday nights serves hot dogs for free. FREE HOT DOGS! holy shit man. c'est incroyable. that's french for Jake's is fucking awesome. a friend brought me a hot dog as my birthday present. i couldn't be happier. well, that's a blaitant lie, but fuck you. i'll say what i want.
i went to the pisser and low and behold, a friend of mine was urinatintg 2 feet infront of me. i struck up a conversation with him. there was a dude to the left and dude to the right of him. it was awekward. did i care? you bet your ass i didn't care. i even offered him a hand.
he said once he finished up he'd buy me a birthday shot. i had a jaeger bomb with him and two RA's (Resident Assistants from my dorm last year). it was semi awesome. then i left the suckas to drink at Where Else.
yea.. the next bar i drank at is called Where Else? clever, ay? this place has a dance floor. it's my favorite of the bars on campus. i got wasted there. once i was trashed my great black friend thought it would be ideal for me to consume a long island iced tea. that cock sucker. the long island threw me over the edge. i was ridiculous at that point. i was so drunk that i bet i danced like a white guy. i destroyed one of my [flip] flops. so i definately spent the rest of the night bare foot. bare footed? bare feeted? something. i spent the rest of the night sans flops.
i remember getting kicked out of Where Else? because i was a little bit too drunk. haha it's not the first time they've given me the boot. oh well.
this is where the story becomes hear say. i have no recollection of any of the following events.
after Where Else we decided to go to Harry's Chocolate Shop. (by the way, how wicked is that name for a bar?) All of my friends got in but me. the bouncer wouldn't let me in cause i was drinking alcohol before i got there. what a pud. i couldn't have been that drunk. or maybe they didn't let me in cause i didn't have any shoes. err.. flops on.
fuck Harry's. we went to Brothers. i'm told that i drank more at Brothers. sweet meat. i should have been cut off long before then. apres alcohol consumption at Brothers i decided we should go to Taco Bell. apparently, it took me a while to get to every place we wanted to go because when i'm drunk i talk a lot. i'm a social butterfly. i talked to every single person that made eye contact with me.
walking to Taco Bell was interesting. i had quite a fall. Crispy (my dark skinned friend) tells me it was the sweetest fall he's ever seen in his life. this is how he explained it...
"you know ninjas right? martial arts? well, you know when they fall from like a 1 story building as they land they do a barrel roll to break their fall. When you fell, you caught yourself in mid air and did the ninja roll. it was awesome."
you fuckers who doubted my ninja skills... suck on that.
ok. we ate foods at Taco Bell. er.. we ate at Taco Bell. i'm not so sure what they serve should be worthy of the title "food". i had a Buh-lupa. Chalupa, but i call them buhlupas when i'm drunk.
i'm not sure how i got home, but i did. and i threw up for the better part of the next day. hooray for turning 21.
i did not heed my mother's warning(uh.. is that right? heed?). she told me not to go to any "binge drinking parties". aww mommy.
when i checked my pants pockets i found a match book. it was from harry's chocolate shop. i flipped it open and the two matches furthest to the right were missing. the rest of the matches were all already burnt but still in the book. strange.
i went to the bars with some friends for some intoxication. might i add, it was quite a success. the first bar i went to was called Jake's. There i listened to, and sang along with some fine tunes. i belted out bohemian raphsody (fuck you english and your spelling.). what a fantastic way to start the night. there i drank my first pitcher of killian's legally. with a straw. that's how i do. pitcher + straw = good times. after i finished the pitcher i took a piss cause my friends wanted to move the party over to a different bar.
i'm getting ahead of myself. Jake's on saturday nights serves hot dogs for free. FREE HOT DOGS! holy shit man. c'est incroyable. that's french for Jake's is fucking awesome. a friend brought me a hot dog as my birthday present. i couldn't be happier. well, that's a blaitant lie, but fuck you. i'll say what i want.
i went to the pisser and low and behold, a friend of mine was urinatintg 2 feet infront of me. i struck up a conversation with him. there was a dude to the left and dude to the right of him. it was awekward. did i care? you bet your ass i didn't care. i even offered him a hand.
he said once he finished up he'd buy me a birthday shot. i had a jaeger bomb with him and two RA's (Resident Assistants from my dorm last year). it was semi awesome. then i left the suckas to drink at Where Else.
yea.. the next bar i drank at is called Where Else? clever, ay? this place has a dance floor. it's my favorite of the bars on campus. i got wasted there. once i was trashed my great black friend thought it would be ideal for me to consume a long island iced tea. that cock sucker. the long island threw me over the edge. i was ridiculous at that point. i was so drunk that i bet i danced like a white guy. i destroyed one of my [flip] flops. so i definately spent the rest of the night bare foot. bare footed? bare feeted? something. i spent the rest of the night sans flops.
i remember getting kicked out of Where Else? because i was a little bit too drunk. haha it's not the first time they've given me the boot. oh well.
this is where the story becomes hear say. i have no recollection of any of the following events.
after Where Else we decided to go to Harry's Chocolate Shop. (by the way, how wicked is that name for a bar?) All of my friends got in but me. the bouncer wouldn't let me in cause i was drinking alcohol before i got there. what a pud. i couldn't have been that drunk. or maybe they didn't let me in cause i didn't have any shoes. err.. flops on.
fuck Harry's. we went to Brothers. i'm told that i drank more at Brothers. sweet meat. i should have been cut off long before then. apres alcohol consumption at Brothers i decided we should go to Taco Bell. apparently, it took me a while to get to every place we wanted to go because when i'm drunk i talk a lot. i'm a social butterfly. i talked to every single person that made eye contact with me.
walking to Taco Bell was interesting. i had quite a fall. Crispy (my dark skinned friend) tells me it was the sweetest fall he's ever seen in his life. this is how he explained it...
"you know ninjas right? martial arts? well, you know when they fall from like a 1 story building as they land they do a barrel roll to break their fall. When you fell, you caught yourself in mid air and did the ninja roll. it was awesome."
you fuckers who doubted my ninja skills... suck on that.
ok. we ate foods at Taco Bell. er.. we ate at Taco Bell. i'm not so sure what they serve should be worthy of the title "food". i had a Buh-lupa. Chalupa, but i call them buhlupas when i'm drunk.
i'm not sure how i got home, but i did. and i threw up for the better part of the next day. hooray for turning 21.
i did not heed my mother's warning(uh.. is that right? heed?). she told me not to go to any "binge drinking parties". aww mommy.
when i checked my pants pockets i found a match book. it was from harry's chocolate shop. i flipped it open and the two matches furthest to the right were missing. the rest of the matches were all already burnt but still in the book. strange.
posted by icon at 5:13 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home