hooray for work
yea i haven't posted in a while because i'm a workin man. well. work has been sort of eventful. yesterday i closed up the restaurant and something kind of strange happened. you see, we have this chalkboard that we put outside so that people walking by can read the specials we have for the night. the chalk board looks like an easil (or however the fuck you spell it). it stands about 4 feet tall and is roughly 3 feet wide. if i haven't painted the picture well enough, it looks like a capital A from the side view. the slanted sides are the writing surfaces and it is held together by a latter type of hinge.
HO-kay. i went outside last night to bring in the chalkboard and i shit you not, the fuckin thing was gone. someone jacked our chalkboard. there are some pretty cracked out hobo's in the downtown lafayette area, but come on now.. this is a bit ridiculous. i bet the fucker who stole it tried to pawn it for like 7 dollars to get a fix. imagine being the employee at the pawn shop. some wrecked lookin man/woman hauls in a 4 foot tall double sided chalkboard thing and asks impatiently "HOW MUCH CAN I GET FOR THIS"
sushi man: FUCK DAMN SHIT BITCH
[remember: he is a FOB. his english is terrible and swear words are extremely funny because he can't pronounce them correctly] he said that after not getting a tip out of some cheap mother fuckers. we gave them about $10 worth of sushi for free and they bend us over, plundered our ass holes and then kicked us to the curb.
yea.. but today.. today i took a step closer to becoming a good sushi man. the sushi man at my place tells me the more you cut yourself the better you get. my drawing and description of the wound i enflicted on myself do not do it justice. but i'll work with what i'm given.
yea i know it is probably the shittiest drawing in the world. stfu. the hair-do looking thing is my blood. the dark red and black represent blood coagulation. the bright red is blood in liquid form you dumb shits. and that thing the hair is on is my thumb. i even drew my finger print with precise accuracy. the blue ink on my thumb is the dead/sad face i drew on my thumb. i drew that face on my thumb; it is suppose to be a thumb person who go the top of his head chopped off. why did i do that? because i'm awesome.
i was carelessly cutting an apple to decorate a sushi boat i had just finished and on the last cut of apple i chopped about a 1/4 of an inch off the end of my thumb. mother fucker did it hurt. the servers were watching me cuz it was a slow day. i moved immediately to the sink, and one guy asked.. "so do you need a bandaid?" i didn't say anything for a while. i was in too much pain. then i turned my head looked at him then showed him my hand that was covered in blood. he said "ok.. you might need a bandaid" haha weee.
the host freaked out and called the boss. it was the sushi man's day off and i was the sushi man for the night. so after the host got off the phone he told me Jay was coming in to work so that i could leave. damn. that sucks. i was just going to work with a glove on. but whatever. the sushi man came in and he wanted to see my wound.
he asked me where the end of my thumb was. i didn't say anything. he said to me "DID YOU THROW IT AWAY?"
i said "no".
"good. you have to keep it."
"haha yeah.. i am."
i brought it home in cellophane wrapping. i unwrapped it and stuck it to my hand. it looks like a big puss filled blister. you know, it's dome shapped and whitish in color. yeah, it's great. it also looks not unlike a nasty wart (hehe i don't give a fuck about the structure, or the do's and don'ts of english writing. double negatives are great. i don't know where to separate paragraphs, i can't spell, i don't know what grammar is, and most of my writings include past, present and future tenses. maybe that is why my hot english teacher gave me a C. haha my hot, chemically dependant english teacher.).
i had to swab it with an alcohol anti-infection kind of wipe. it hurt like a bitch. i did this only after hearing my options. a mexi chef advised lemon juice to heal my wound. i passed on the lemon juice. next, the sushi man said i should soak it in the juice our ginger is in. if i did't know a damn thing about sushi, i might have chosen that route. knowing that anti-bacterial wipes or whatever the fuck they are and lemon juice make open wounds hurt like a mother. however, i know that the ginger juice contains vinegar. i get a few knicks and such on my hands and when i dip my hand in the containter to get ginger, wooooo doggie does it feel great. so. i chose the wipes.
after wiping the skinless portion of my thumb clean, they chefs made me dip my fuckin finger in hydrogen peroxide. wtf. why the fuck is that necessary? i just swabbed the damn thing. i should have been good to go. i hate being sanitary. fuck shit ass. i've never cleaned a wound like this before. normally i get cut and just put a bandaid on it. bandaids make everything all better, no matter how large the wound.
i guess it beats going to the hospital. this is what my boss advised i do over the phone. this is also what the servers and chefs told me i should do. they thought that my cut meritted a trip to the hospital. fuck that isht. they thought i might need stitches. i know best, and i know stitches are no good. so i'm at home. being awesome.
i'll sniff you jerks later.
HO-kay. i went outside last night to bring in the chalkboard and i shit you not, the fuckin thing was gone. someone jacked our chalkboard. there are some pretty cracked out hobo's in the downtown lafayette area, but come on now.. this is a bit ridiculous. i bet the fucker who stole it tried to pawn it for like 7 dollars to get a fix. imagine being the employee at the pawn shop. some wrecked lookin man/woman hauls in a 4 foot tall double sided chalkboard thing and asks impatiently "HOW MUCH CAN I GET FOR THIS"
sushi man: FUCK DAMN SHIT BITCH
[remember: he is a FOB. his english is terrible and swear words are extremely funny because he can't pronounce them correctly] he said that after not getting a tip out of some cheap mother fuckers. we gave them about $10 worth of sushi for free and they bend us over, plundered our ass holes and then kicked us to the curb.
yea.. but today.. today i took a step closer to becoming a good sushi man. the sushi man at my place tells me the more you cut yourself the better you get. my drawing and description of the wound i enflicted on myself do not do it justice. but i'll work with what i'm given.
yea i know it is probably the shittiest drawing in the world. stfu. the hair-do looking thing is my blood. the dark red and black represent blood coagulation. the bright red is blood in liquid form you dumb shits. and that thing the hair is on is my thumb. i even drew my finger print with precise accuracy. the blue ink on my thumb is the dead/sad face i drew on my thumb. i drew that face on my thumb; it is suppose to be a thumb person who go the top of his head chopped off. why did i do that? because i'm awesome.
i was carelessly cutting an apple to decorate a sushi boat i had just finished and on the last cut of apple i chopped about a 1/4 of an inch off the end of my thumb. mother fucker did it hurt. the servers were watching me cuz it was a slow day. i moved immediately to the sink, and one guy asked.. "so do you need a bandaid?" i didn't say anything for a while. i was in too much pain. then i turned my head looked at him then showed him my hand that was covered in blood. he said "ok.. you might need a bandaid" haha weee.
the host freaked out and called the boss. it was the sushi man's day off and i was the sushi man for the night. so after the host got off the phone he told me Jay was coming in to work so that i could leave. damn. that sucks. i was just going to work with a glove on. but whatever. the sushi man came in and he wanted to see my wound.
he asked me where the end of my thumb was. i didn't say anything. he said to me "DID YOU THROW IT AWAY?"
i said "no".
"good. you have to keep it."
"haha yeah.. i am."
i brought it home in cellophane wrapping. i unwrapped it and stuck it to my hand. it looks like a big puss filled blister. you know, it's dome shapped and whitish in color. yeah, it's great. it also looks not unlike a nasty wart (hehe i don't give a fuck about the structure, or the do's and don'ts of english writing. double negatives are great. i don't know where to separate paragraphs, i can't spell, i don't know what grammar is, and most of my writings include past, present and future tenses. maybe that is why my hot english teacher gave me a C. haha my hot, chemically dependant english teacher.).
i had to swab it with an alcohol anti-infection kind of wipe. it hurt like a bitch. i did this only after hearing my options. a mexi chef advised lemon juice to heal my wound. i passed on the lemon juice. next, the sushi man said i should soak it in the juice our ginger is in. if i did't know a damn thing about sushi, i might have chosen that route. knowing that anti-bacterial wipes or whatever the fuck they are and lemon juice make open wounds hurt like a mother. however, i know that the ginger juice contains vinegar. i get a few knicks and such on my hands and when i dip my hand in the containter to get ginger, wooooo doggie does it feel great. so. i chose the wipes.
after wiping the skinless portion of my thumb clean, they chefs made me dip my fuckin finger in hydrogen peroxide. wtf. why the fuck is that necessary? i just swabbed the damn thing. i should have been good to go. i hate being sanitary. fuck shit ass. i've never cleaned a wound like this before. normally i get cut and just put a bandaid on it. bandaids make everything all better, no matter how large the wound.
i guess it beats going to the hospital. this is what my boss advised i do over the phone. this is also what the servers and chefs told me i should do. they thought that my cut meritted a trip to the hospital. fuck that isht. they thought i might need stitches. i know best, and i know stitches are no good. so i'm at home. being awesome.
i'll sniff you jerks later.
posted by icon at 7:40 PM
1 Comments:
maybe the better a sushi chef a dude is, the less fingertips they have.
one down, nine to go!
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