sunday conversation with The Jeffrey
here's a sample of me and my best friend The Jeffrey being awesome. i'll fill you in as needed. "Tenz" is me. it's short for Tenzil. if you have no idea what i'm talking about, then check check it: http://feedtheasian.blogspot.com/2004/12/bestest-super-hero-ever.html#comments
The Jeffrey: ok, so, there's this interesting thread on the weez[er] boards, this kid says, "post here, and i'll tell you the first initial of the girl you will marry"
The Jeffrey: so a bunch of people have done it for kicks
The Jeffrey: and i posted
The Jeffrey: and the kid says, "J, K, or A"
The Jeffrey: ok, so J____ and K_____ are both ex-girlfriends, and my current lady friend's name is A____
Tenz: well.. are you moron?
Tenz: oops
Tenz: haha
Tenz: mormon
The Jeffrey: hahahahahahahaha
The Jeffrey: haha
Tenz: DAMN IT
Tenz: hahahaha
The Jeffrey: i was like, "what the fuck"
The Jeffrey: no, it's just a weird coincidence
Tenz: i'm trying to insult you with FOB english
** this is the last time i'm explaining FOB. Fresh Of the Boat. or 'konglish'. KOrean-eNGLISH as the hostess at my restaurant likes to call it **
The Jeffrey: are you moron?
The Jeffrey: haha
The Jeffrey: hahaha
Tenz: we have the best conversations
Tenz: the best were the classics we'd have when i was in my room and you were in yours in the zoo
** "the zoo" is kalamazoo, mi. that was the location of WMU, our old college. we've both changed schools to pursue actual careers instead of doing nothing and having ridiculous amounts of fun. we were roomates in a bad ass apartment and lived about 10 feet from each other but we were too lazy to walk 10 steps and have a verbal discourse. we just typed to each other and heard laughter. **
Tenz: hahaha
The Jeffrey: hahaha yeah
The Jeffrey: oh man, the times we had at 4063 hawthorne ridge
Tenz: yeah huh
Tenz: they were grrrrreat
The Jeffrey: we truly had some killer parties
The Jeffrey: and some killer fucking stains on the carpet
Tenz: that we did
Tenz: hahaha
Tenz: like gigantic red spots from the jungle juice
Tenz: our carpet was also an ashtray
Tenz: i love how are place was the weekend spot
** nearly every single weekend of our sophomore year we threw a party. and by party i mean keggers. yea keggers. we started with a keg. then we graduated to 2 kegs. then we got rowdy and did a kegger with jungle juice. then a keg, a giant barrel of jungle juice and bob marley shots (bob marley's contain bacardi 151 and are lit on fire). it finally got out of hand when we threw tripple keggers. mind you, it is a three person apartment and we had enough people in our place to tap 3 half barrels. so lets do the math. 1 half barrel contains 15.5 gallons of beer. that converts into 1984 ounces. 1984 ounces fills 165 12oz plastic cups of beer. 165 cups times 3 equals a grand total of 495 beers. so, if each person drank 9 beers then we would have had 55 guests in attendance. but since most girls don't drink 9 beers i'll guess we had anywhere between 65-80 people on a triple kegger night.**
The Jeffrey: yeah
The Jeffrey: and all those fucking pistachios
Tenz: hahahaha
Tenz: wow.
Tenz: we ate those fuckers like a meal
The Jeffrey: truly
Tenz: pounds at a sitting
The Jeffrey: get high, eat pistachios
Tenz: hahahaha
Tenz: even when we were bored we had fun.
Tenz: remember the clementine incident?
The Jeffrey: hahahahaha
The Jeffrey: hahahahaha
Tenz: it might have been one of the highlights of my WMU career.
** it was pitch black outside and my roomates and i were bored as hell. so i had the bright idea to hurl rotten clementines off our balcony. my roomates and i walked out on the balcony armed with rotten fruit. i picked out a red trans am and called it out as my target. i chose it because it was the nicest car in the parking lot we were facing. i'm going to estimate that from our balcony the car was about 30 yards. well, maybe 25. i don't really know. it wasn't close but it wasn't too far. so i took aim and launched the rotten fruit into the black sky. it seemed like forever. not a sound was heard.... **
Tenz: it was great cuz we thought i missed for a second
Tenz: but as soon as i launched it i had that feeling. you know that feeling of shooting a basketball from half court and knowing that you nailed it.
The Jeffrey: haha
** after a nice long hangtime i struck gold. we heard a loud thud as the clementine splattered all over the car. the impact was forceful enough to set off the car alarm. i ran back into the apartment with a splitting side ache. i was laughing so hard i felt like i was dying from asthma. the three of us were laughing like there was no tomorrow. it was incredible to say the least. **
The Jeffrey: that was so funny
The Jeffrey: holy shit, i wish we could have had another year there
Tenz: i know man. that was seriously the best year of my life
The Jeffrey: yeah
The Jeffrey: i agree
The Jeffrey: it was just so free
Tenz: we did whatever the fuck we wanted
The Jeffrey: right
Tenz: like, i wanted to set my gigantic goblet on fire so i did
The Jeffrey: haha that was awesome, by the way
Tenz: and then it split in to several pieces
Tenz: haha
Tenz: we filled that fucker with lighter fluid
** i bought a gigantic medival looking goblet. lil jon stole the 'pimp cup' from me. after i purchased it i got myself a box of red wine. i drank like a king. it was seriously like a soup bowl. it was enormous. i could practically fit my entire face in the cup. well one day i was bored so i thought it would be fun to set a huge fire in it. i took a whole box of matches and tossed it in the goblet, poured about half a container of lighter fluid and a bunch of other flamable shit inside. i love fire. it's great. so i lit the bitch. i was happy. it was great fun until the goblet split into about 6 pieces. we found out then that it was made of glass. holy shit that was some fire... it was hot enough to dismantle a large glass cup. like it didn't crack, it just fell apart. that is the last thing i would have imagined could happen. the goblet was sitting on our balcony which is made out of wood. not such a good idea. so the flames so lighter fluid and other highly flamable material was all over the wood balcony. i freaked out and stopped on it furiously to put out the flames. boy was it fun. i have pictures somewhere, if i find them i'll be sure to post 'em later. **
Tenz: and winslow chilling in the freezer for MONTHS
Tenz: hahahahaha
Tenz: that couldn't have been sanitary
The Jeffrey: hahaha i know
The Jeffrey: he's buried now though
Tenz: may that gentile little bird rest in piece
** winslow was one of The Jeffrey's two birds. his other bird petey was an evil mother fucker. he pecked the shit out of winslow. he nearly pecked off on of winslow's toes. it was all hanging off and bloody. The Jeffrey took winslow to the vet but medicine couldn't save him from the wrath that was petey. winslow died during the winter. The Jeffrey wanted to give winslow a proper burrial so we kept him in a ziplock bag in the freezer for probably 3 months. **
The Jeffrey: i'm so money these days...i don't know what's going on
Tenz: atta boy
Tenz: rockstar lovin man
The Jeffrey: did i tell you about the random girls who were all over me and skye at the kings of leon show?
** The Jeffrey and Sky Thrasher (yes that is his legal, parent given name) are in a band. they were born to rock. check them out because i said so. www.jlrmusic.com **
Tenz: chicks dig it
The Jeffrey: and then the girl who walked up to me afterwards and told me that i'm "beautiful"?
Tenz: no..(how was the show by the way)
The Jeffrey: the show was fucking awesome
Tenz: nice. so what happened with the girlly girls
The Jeffrey: i dunno, they left like midway through the show
The Jeffrey: probably went to go to the bathroom and couldn't make it back to where we were
The Jeffrey: it was packed in there
Tenz: that sucks
The Jeffrey: eh
The Jeffrey: it was alright, they weren't that hot
The Jeffrey: although one of them was a radiologist
** this made me laugh a lot. it reminded me of half baked. the part where thurgood was talking to scarface. they were talking about getting forms from the scientist at the business where thurgood was a janitor. excuse me, custodian. thurgood told scarface, "how am i suppose to get those forms" or something like that and scarface says, "well, they are scientists" and thurgood says "what the hell is that suppose to mean?". can you make the connection? if you can't, "i'll punch a pepperoni to your head" -arnold's pizza shop skit. i'm so f-in random. **
The Jeffrey: or something
The Jeffrey: i dunno, the cute one kept rubbing up against me
The Jeffrey: but seriously, how fucked up is it for a girl to call a guy "beautiful" to his face?
The Jeffrey: that one literally got me all wrong-footed. i didn't know what to say
Tenz: hahaha
The Jeffrey: i mean, seriously!
The Jeffrey: what the fuck
Tenz: i think i might have just said "ew" if i was you
The Jeffrey: beautiful? good god, why didn't she just ask how my vagina was?
Tenz: hahaha
The Jeffrey: no, i smiled very nicely and gave her a suprised sort of "thank you"
The Jeffrey: if she would have been super hot it would have been another story
The Jeffrey: but she was only mildly attractive
Tenz: agreed
on average, i would say 99.4% of my conversations with The Jeffrey are nothing short of awesome.
Tenz: i might just have a weekly entry with a convo between you and i.
The Jeffrey: haha
Tenz: i fail not to be entertained by The Jeffrey
Tenz: peace out cracka
The Jeffrey: haha later
The Jeffrey: ok, so, there's this interesting thread on the weez[er] boards, this kid says, "post here, and i'll tell you the first initial of the girl you will marry"
The Jeffrey: so a bunch of people have done it for kicks
The Jeffrey: and i posted
The Jeffrey: and the kid says, "J, K, or A"
The Jeffrey: ok, so J____ and K_____ are both ex-girlfriends, and my current lady friend's name is A____
Tenz: well.. are you moron?
Tenz: oops
Tenz: haha
Tenz: mormon
The Jeffrey: hahahahahahahaha
The Jeffrey: haha
Tenz: DAMN IT
Tenz: hahahaha
The Jeffrey: i was like, "what the fuck"
The Jeffrey: no, it's just a weird coincidence
Tenz: i'm trying to insult you with FOB english
** this is the last time i'm explaining FOB. Fresh Of the Boat. or 'konglish'. KOrean-eNGLISH as the hostess at my restaurant likes to call it **
The Jeffrey: are you moron?
The Jeffrey: haha
The Jeffrey: hahaha
Tenz: we have the best conversations
Tenz: the best were the classics we'd have when i was in my room and you were in yours in the zoo
** "the zoo" is kalamazoo, mi. that was the location of WMU, our old college. we've both changed schools to pursue actual careers instead of doing nothing and having ridiculous amounts of fun. we were roomates in a bad ass apartment and lived about 10 feet from each other but we were too lazy to walk 10 steps and have a verbal discourse. we just typed to each other and heard laughter. **
Tenz: hahaha
The Jeffrey: hahaha yeah
The Jeffrey: oh man, the times we had at 4063 hawthorne ridge
Tenz: yeah huh
Tenz: they were grrrrreat
The Jeffrey: we truly had some killer parties
The Jeffrey: and some killer fucking stains on the carpet
Tenz: that we did
Tenz: hahaha
Tenz: like gigantic red spots from the jungle juice
Tenz: our carpet was also an ashtray
Tenz: i love how are place was the weekend spot
** nearly every single weekend of our sophomore year we threw a party. and by party i mean keggers. yea keggers. we started with a keg. then we graduated to 2 kegs. then we got rowdy and did a kegger with jungle juice. then a keg, a giant barrel of jungle juice and bob marley shots (bob marley's contain bacardi 151 and are lit on fire). it finally got out of hand when we threw tripple keggers. mind you, it is a three person apartment and we had enough people in our place to tap 3 half barrels. so lets do the math. 1 half barrel contains 15.5 gallons of beer. that converts into 1984 ounces. 1984 ounces fills 165 12oz plastic cups of beer. 165 cups times 3 equals a grand total of 495 beers. so, if each person drank 9 beers then we would have had 55 guests in attendance. but since most girls don't drink 9 beers i'll guess we had anywhere between 65-80 people on a triple kegger night.**
The Jeffrey: yeah
The Jeffrey: and all those fucking pistachios
Tenz: hahahaha
Tenz: wow.
Tenz: we ate those fuckers like a meal
The Jeffrey: truly
Tenz: pounds at a sitting
The Jeffrey: get high, eat pistachios
Tenz: hahahaha
Tenz: even when we were bored we had fun.
Tenz: remember the clementine incident?
The Jeffrey: hahahahaha
The Jeffrey: hahahahaha
Tenz: it might have been one of the highlights of my WMU career.
** it was pitch black outside and my roomates and i were bored as hell. so i had the bright idea to hurl rotten clementines off our balcony. my roomates and i walked out on the balcony armed with rotten fruit. i picked out a red trans am and called it out as my target. i chose it because it was the nicest car in the parking lot we were facing. i'm going to estimate that from our balcony the car was about 30 yards. well, maybe 25. i don't really know. it wasn't close but it wasn't too far. so i took aim and launched the rotten fruit into the black sky. it seemed like forever. not a sound was heard.... **
Tenz: it was great cuz we thought i missed for a second
Tenz: but as soon as i launched it i had that feeling. you know that feeling of shooting a basketball from half court and knowing that you nailed it.
The Jeffrey: haha
** after a nice long hangtime i struck gold. we heard a loud thud as the clementine splattered all over the car. the impact was forceful enough to set off the car alarm. i ran back into the apartment with a splitting side ache. i was laughing so hard i felt like i was dying from asthma. the three of us were laughing like there was no tomorrow. it was incredible to say the least. **
The Jeffrey: that was so funny
The Jeffrey: holy shit, i wish we could have had another year there
Tenz: i know man. that was seriously the best year of my life
The Jeffrey: yeah
The Jeffrey: i agree
The Jeffrey: it was just so free
Tenz: we did whatever the fuck we wanted
The Jeffrey: right
Tenz: like, i wanted to set my gigantic goblet on fire so i did
The Jeffrey: haha that was awesome, by the way
Tenz: and then it split in to several pieces
Tenz: haha
Tenz: we filled that fucker with lighter fluid
** i bought a gigantic medival looking goblet. lil jon stole the 'pimp cup' from me. after i purchased it i got myself a box of red wine. i drank like a king. it was seriously like a soup bowl. it was enormous. i could practically fit my entire face in the cup. well one day i was bored so i thought it would be fun to set a huge fire in it. i took a whole box of matches and tossed it in the goblet, poured about half a container of lighter fluid and a bunch of other flamable shit inside. i love fire. it's great. so i lit the bitch. i was happy. it was great fun until the goblet split into about 6 pieces. we found out then that it was made of glass. holy shit that was some fire... it was hot enough to dismantle a large glass cup. like it didn't crack, it just fell apart. that is the last thing i would have imagined could happen. the goblet was sitting on our balcony which is made out of wood. not such a good idea. so the flames so lighter fluid and other highly flamable material was all over the wood balcony. i freaked out and stopped on it furiously to put out the flames. boy was it fun. i have pictures somewhere, if i find them i'll be sure to post 'em later. **
Tenz: and winslow chilling in the freezer for MONTHS
Tenz: hahahahaha
Tenz: that couldn't have been sanitary
The Jeffrey: hahaha i know
The Jeffrey: he's buried now though
Tenz: may that gentile little bird rest in piece
** winslow was one of The Jeffrey's two birds. his other bird petey was an evil mother fucker. he pecked the shit out of winslow. he nearly pecked off on of winslow's toes. it was all hanging off and bloody. The Jeffrey took winslow to the vet but medicine couldn't save him from the wrath that was petey. winslow died during the winter. The Jeffrey wanted to give winslow a proper burrial so we kept him in a ziplock bag in the freezer for probably 3 months. **
The Jeffrey: i'm so money these days...i don't know what's going on
Tenz: atta boy
Tenz: rockstar lovin man
The Jeffrey: did i tell you about the random girls who were all over me and skye at the kings of leon show?
** The Jeffrey and Sky Thrasher (yes that is his legal, parent given name) are in a band. they were born to rock. check them out because i said so. www.jlrmusic.com **
Tenz: chicks dig it
The Jeffrey: and then the girl who walked up to me afterwards and told me that i'm "beautiful"?
Tenz: no..(how was the show by the way)
The Jeffrey: the show was fucking awesome
Tenz: nice. so what happened with the girlly girls
The Jeffrey: i dunno, they left like midway through the show
The Jeffrey: probably went to go to the bathroom and couldn't make it back to where we were
The Jeffrey: it was packed in there
Tenz: that sucks
The Jeffrey: eh
The Jeffrey: it was alright, they weren't that hot
The Jeffrey: although one of them was a radiologist
** this made me laugh a lot. it reminded me of half baked. the part where thurgood was talking to scarface. they were talking about getting forms from the scientist at the business where thurgood was a janitor. excuse me, custodian. thurgood told scarface, "how am i suppose to get those forms" or something like that and scarface says, "well, they are scientists" and thurgood says "what the hell is that suppose to mean?". can you make the connection? if you can't, "i'll punch a pepperoni to your head" -arnold's pizza shop skit. i'm so f-in random. **
The Jeffrey: or something
The Jeffrey: i dunno, the cute one kept rubbing up against me
The Jeffrey: but seriously, how fucked up is it for a girl to call a guy "beautiful" to his face?
The Jeffrey: that one literally got me all wrong-footed. i didn't know what to say
Tenz: hahaha
The Jeffrey: i mean, seriously!
The Jeffrey: what the fuck
Tenz: i think i might have just said "ew" if i was you
The Jeffrey: beautiful? good god, why didn't she just ask how my vagina was?
Tenz: hahaha
The Jeffrey: no, i smiled very nicely and gave her a suprised sort of "thank you"
The Jeffrey: if she would have been super hot it would have been another story
The Jeffrey: but she was only mildly attractive
Tenz: agreed
on average, i would say 99.4% of my conversations with The Jeffrey are nothing short of awesome.
Tenz: i might just have a weekly entry with a convo between you and i.
The Jeffrey: haha
Tenz: i fail not to be entertained by The Jeffrey
Tenz: peace out cracka
The Jeffrey: haha later
posted by icon at 2:19 PM
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