a few random things
first and foremost... do you hate jamster commercials? of course you do. you know, the commercials that try to get you to download ring tones or screensavers. well, i was "surfin the net" (crap i hate when people say that) and came across this advertisement (people who say "surf the net" also pronounce advertisement "add-vert-is-ment" which is equally irritating):
i couldn't help but laugh. i'm not sure exactly what it is. all i know is, it's a cartoon of sorts that has a nubby little penis. it is incredibly fantastic.
roomate stuffs:
my carl carlton obsessing roomate cracks my shit up. a friend of ours recently had a concussion. apparently, a 5lb bucket fell on her head or something a few days back. the day after she got out of the hospital she asked him, "what's going on this weekend?" he said "well, my frat is havin a party but i'm not sure you want to go. they're having some sort of bucket throwing competition." BAH HAHAHAHA. she wasn't pleased.
i'm sure this is out of context, but in any context it would be hilarious. he said, "your clitoris looks like roast beef"
here is a quote from a little tiny girl named erin: here's to being single, seeing double, and sleeping triple. haha she gets drunk off of approximately 1 beer. she said that while intoxicated.
but by far, i think this next lil blurb is the best thing i'll post today. why? because i did it. and i'm the best thing since peanuts were mashed into butter. er.. mixed with butter once mashed. or something. whatever. you get the damn point.
me and my pal kendra were studying in the lobby of our dorm. it was gorgeous outside today, 62 degrees to be exact. well our test was at 8:30 post meridian, and the great day turned to shit. it was pissing rain and i assumed it had gotten colder. i asked ken if she knew the temp. she said no, so i decided to check. i walked out the first set of doors, then through the second pair of doors that separates a heated little space from the outside world. imagine a shopping mall. they usually have entrances like it. you open doors from the outside then have to open another set of doors before entering the mall.
since i suck at explaining shit, that took forever. my condolences. Ho-kay. i went outside and sure enough, it was pretty chilly. i opened the first doors then headed toward the doors that opened up to the inside of the dorm. i must admit, there is a first time for everything. instead of pulling on the door handle i put my hand on the glass and pushed. i was walking with determination and ended up slamming my fat face into the glass part of the door. the collision was followed by some obscenity because i drilled the fucker with my face. once i recovered from the impact, i looked up and there was a group of indians (fuck being PC) pointing and laughing at me. i started laughing too (even though my face was throbbing).
i walked back to where ken was and told her what had happened. she laughed. when it came time to leave for class, we had to leave through the same doors that i collided with. well, the janitors are pretty damn good in our place. so the door glass was imaculate (sp). we got to the doors and there on the glass was a perfect transfer of half my face against the glass. you could see my lips and nose in the crinckled oh fuck i just ran into a door really hard look on the glass. that look isn't just in comedies let me tell you. it is a for real look. i hope they forget to clean the glass for a few days so that everyone can marvel at my tommy boy type of moment.
"SONOFA!"
i couldn't help but laugh. i'm not sure exactly what it is. all i know is, it's a cartoon of sorts that has a nubby little penis. it is incredibly fantastic.
roomate stuffs:
my carl carlton obsessing roomate cracks my shit up. a friend of ours recently had a concussion. apparently, a 5lb bucket fell on her head or something a few days back. the day after she got out of the hospital she asked him, "what's going on this weekend?" he said "well, my frat is havin a party but i'm not sure you want to go. they're having some sort of bucket throwing competition." BAH HAHAHAHA. she wasn't pleased.
i'm sure this is out of context, but in any context it would be hilarious. he said, "your clitoris looks like roast beef"
here is a quote from a little tiny girl named erin: here's to being single, seeing double, and sleeping triple. haha she gets drunk off of approximately 1 beer. she said that while intoxicated.
but by far, i think this next lil blurb is the best thing i'll post today. why? because i did it. and i'm the best thing since peanuts were mashed into butter. er.. mixed with butter once mashed. or something. whatever. you get the damn point.
me and my pal kendra were studying in the lobby of our dorm. it was gorgeous outside today, 62 degrees to be exact. well our test was at 8:30 post meridian, and the great day turned to shit. it was pissing rain and i assumed it had gotten colder. i asked ken if she knew the temp. she said no, so i decided to check. i walked out the first set of doors, then through the second pair of doors that separates a heated little space from the outside world. imagine a shopping mall. they usually have entrances like it. you open doors from the outside then have to open another set of doors before entering the mall.
since i suck at explaining shit, that took forever. my condolences. Ho-kay. i went outside and sure enough, it was pretty chilly. i opened the first doors then headed toward the doors that opened up to the inside of the dorm. i must admit, there is a first time for everything. instead of pulling on the door handle i put my hand on the glass and pushed. i was walking with determination and ended up slamming my fat face into the glass part of the door. the collision was followed by some obscenity because i drilled the fucker with my face. once i recovered from the impact, i looked up and there was a group of indians (fuck being PC) pointing and laughing at me. i started laughing too (even though my face was throbbing).
i walked back to where ken was and told her what had happened. she laughed. when it came time to leave for class, we had to leave through the same doors that i collided with. well, the janitors are pretty damn good in our place. so the door glass was imaculate (sp). we got to the doors and there on the glass was a perfect transfer of half my face against the glass. you could see my lips and nose in the crinckled oh fuck i just ran into a door really hard look on the glass. that look isn't just in comedies let me tell you. it is a for real look. i hope they forget to clean the glass for a few days so that everyone can marvel at my tommy boy type of moment.
"SONOFA!"
posted by icon at 11:24 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home