work
just a few things.
my boss slash owner recently hired a new korean chef. he's korean and cooks korean food. or, he's suppose to. he told her that he was a chef, but it turns out, the guy is a pile of old crap. he's got to be at least 55. he's hard of hearing, moves slower than fuck, doesn't know how to cut onions or anything else for that matter, and basically doesn't know how to do anything remotely correct. well he made me laugh really hard today.
our head chef back there is a short lil guy. he's mexi but cooks better than most koreans. anyways, he's just about 5'2'' i'd guess. the korean guy is about 6'2'' and resembles "Chief" from One Flew Over the Cucoo's Nest. well, the lil mexi guy at the end of the day started drumming on the korean guy's stomach. this made me laugh. Chief then did something i'd never expect anyone to do. he attempted to lift up the lil mexi just by pressing on his temples. he squeezed the lil guy's head and lifted. like his cooking, he didn't come close to reaching his goal. he just squeezed the fuck out of the guy's head. then he did the same thing to the dishwasher.
after work the boss took me and the mexi's to Denny's. awesomeness. the only real notable part was our discussion about korean people. you can usually tell an asian is korean by looking at their eyes. i know you're thinking "wtf? how can you tell by their eyes? all asians have squinty eyes. they all look alike" actually, to be honest, i think i just made that up. i don't know if it is just a weird korean thing, or a weird asian thing. regardless, many koreans (me included) do not have eye lids. well we have eye lids, but they don't fold like normal people eye lids. most korean children have wished for eye lids as a christmas present. it's a desired look that we can't have. that is unless we get the surgery to correct it.
my boss has a friend who had that surgery. they cut her eye lids and sewed them tighter or something so that they'd fold. only draw back is that when this chick sleeps, she can't really close her eyes all the way. she kind of sleeps with her eyes half open. hehe. my boss sometimes waves her hand infront of this girl's face because she isn't sure if the girl is awake or sleeping.
funnier was watching my boss explain to the mexi's our eye lid issue. she had to show them what was different about us. they didn't get it. i suppose the demostration she gave wouldn't have been necessary if they could understand hablos english. well she has practiced this lil trick since she was a wee lil lady. she tilted her head downward, like so her head faced the table we were eating at. when she did this she kept her eyes looking forward just as if her head was pointed straight forward. well doing this caused her eye lids to fold. haha she told me that she used to walk around like that when she was younger. that is how important eye lids are. crap i wish i had eye lids. i would rule so hard.
if you're not laughing then you suck. hmm.. in all actuality, i'm the one who should be called a suck. this i'm sure is one of those "Well... i guess you had to be there" kind of stories. blow me. i laughed.
my boss slash owner recently hired a new korean chef. he's korean and cooks korean food. or, he's suppose to. he told her that he was a chef, but it turns out, the guy is a pile of old crap. he's got to be at least 55. he's hard of hearing, moves slower than fuck, doesn't know how to cut onions or anything else for that matter, and basically doesn't know how to do anything remotely correct. well he made me laugh really hard today.
our head chef back there is a short lil guy. he's mexi but cooks better than most koreans. anyways, he's just about 5'2'' i'd guess. the korean guy is about 6'2'' and resembles "Chief" from One Flew Over the Cucoo's Nest. well, the lil mexi guy at the end of the day started drumming on the korean guy's stomach. this made me laugh. Chief then did something i'd never expect anyone to do. he attempted to lift up the lil mexi just by pressing on his temples. he squeezed the lil guy's head and lifted. like his cooking, he didn't come close to reaching his goal. he just squeezed the fuck out of the guy's head. then he did the same thing to the dishwasher.
after work the boss took me and the mexi's to Denny's. awesomeness. the only real notable part was our discussion about korean people. you can usually tell an asian is korean by looking at their eyes. i know you're thinking "wtf? how can you tell by their eyes? all asians have squinty eyes. they all look alike" actually, to be honest, i think i just made that up. i don't know if it is just a weird korean thing, or a weird asian thing. regardless, many koreans (me included) do not have eye lids. well we have eye lids, but they don't fold like normal people eye lids. most korean children have wished for eye lids as a christmas present. it's a desired look that we can't have. that is unless we get the surgery to correct it.
my boss has a friend who had that surgery. they cut her eye lids and sewed them tighter or something so that they'd fold. only draw back is that when this chick sleeps, she can't really close her eyes all the way. she kind of sleeps with her eyes half open. hehe. my boss sometimes waves her hand infront of this girl's face because she isn't sure if the girl is awake or sleeping.
funnier was watching my boss explain to the mexi's our eye lid issue. she had to show them what was different about us. they didn't get it. i suppose the demostration she gave wouldn't have been necessary if they could understand hablos english. well she has practiced this lil trick since she was a wee lil lady. she tilted her head downward, like so her head faced the table we were eating at. when she did this she kept her eyes looking forward just as if her head was pointed straight forward. well doing this caused her eye lids to fold. haha she told me that she used to walk around like that when she was younger. that is how important eye lids are. crap i wish i had eye lids. i would rule so hard.
if you're not laughing then you suck. hmm.. in all actuality, i'm the one who should be called a suck. this i'm sure is one of those "Well... i guess you had to be there" kind of stories. blow me. i laughed.
posted by icon at 2:23 AM
1 Comments:
i don't suck. i was laughing so hard (and again on my break at work) that my coworkers thought there was something wrong with me--looking at my computer and laughing my ass off.
you know, i don't think all asians look the same. but i can never describe how they don't look the same. like japanese people definitely do not look like chinese people and vice versa but what exactly is the difference i don't know. i just know my brain can pick out the difference.
what? santa doesn't deal in eyelids? aww, if i had some extra eyelids (like vulcans do), i'd give you a couple, you poor lidless korean.
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