the weekend of spring break
i worked 4 days out of my 7 allotted days for spring break. making monies and sushi rules. so does going home and rocking out so hard it makes your nipples bleed.
sushi man.
i saw the sushi man doin a funny little dance. it was random. completely out of the blue. he was just standing there, and then all of a sudden started wiggling his legs back and forth in a squirming kind of motion. i bust out laughing. i ask him, "what are you doing?" he says "too big." i paused, then started laughing about 7 hundred times harder. i'm positive everyone in the restaurant heard me.
"oh god! look at all that shit!" is what i said after looking at some baby shrimps. the sushi man heard me and then de-pooped the shrimp. i said, "can't you get sick from eating the poo?"
"no. eat poo. it's good (the shrimp poo). chinese people eat poo. they eat anything. every kind of poo. dog poo, cat poo, neehh neeehhh (he made a noise similar to a sheep because he doesn't know how to say sheep in english) poo, bird poo, kahh kahh!"
"crow?"
"yes. crow poo. poo taste is beddy (very) nICE (emphasis on ICE)."
FOBs rule.
st. patty's day.
i went to Wastern for this glorious holiday. damn it i love Wastern. i was with The Jeffrey, jon (his cousin) and tony at some guy's place to pregame. they had a pony (a quarter barrel to you uneducated lay people) and it was a decent way to start off the night. but.. the girls were pretty nasty. i said to jon "why couldn't there be a girl here that wasn't hidious?" The Jeffrey got hit on by a 6'1'' man of a woman. whatever, i got about 5 cups of berrr in me before the pony cashed. after the keg was tapped, the fun began.
tony brought some beads to the party. he gave one to some girl. another girl said how tacky the beads were. this is what blossomed into a solid 30 minutes of bitch on bitch entertainment. the girls bitched at each other for a while. then the group of girls who thought the beads were tacky decided to "bounce". as they were walking down the stairs the girl with the beads walked to the staircase and dumped a beer on the girls below. more profanity was used while the now beer soaked girls walked to their car. they pulled out of their parking spot and nearly hit a car circling the lot for a spot. this delay gave the girl with beads time to find an object that would fit well i her hand.
the object she chose happened to be a rock. the girls in the car and the girls outside were still bitching at each other. then it happened. the girl with the beads launched her rock at the car. BLLLIIIZZAAAMMN! she fuckin drilled the side of the car. it was bitch fighting at its best. we all left after because the girls called the cops to file a report.
the party.
the party was pretty great. the girls were good, the music was decent, and the beer was fan-fuckin-tasticly great. the first half barrel was green miller light. jahoo. but the second... the second was Killians Red. i was in heaven. i saw lesley (one of my friend's cousins) and met her suitmate stefanie. stefanie with a bloody f. they cool. i hung out with them for a lot of the party.
me, The Jeffrey, and jon were chilling. this chick with a big ass trucker hat bumped into me and covered my right arm in beer. jon said to the girl "lift up your hat" (so he could see her face) so she did, and then he pushed her hat back down on her head and said "don't lift up your hat". hahahaha.
there were three girls sitting at a table playing a card game. i watched. i shortly found out that they were playing go fish. i was amused. as i watched a bit longer i became more entertained. they were playing go fish, but didn't really know how to play. the girls kept asking questions about the game. they kind of just made stuff up as they went.
sat, 19th.
i ate lunch with my friend mike and jessica. we ate at a dinner. they had a burger called the "mega burger" it is 1 and 1/2 lbs of burger. and by burger, i really mean 1 1/2 lbs of beef. it's a whole lot of burger.
the rules:
must eat whole burger within 30 minutes.
must eat all fries also, within the 30 minute time period.
no trips to the bathroom. if you puke or poo or something, you lose.
i polished off just less that 3/4 of the burger. i nearly finished all the fries. the burger kicked my ass. but, and this is a big but... next time i go back home i will eat that god forsaken burger and i will wear the t-shirt with pride. i didn't want to eat myself into a coma, or eat so much that i'd vomit at the table because i was with a hot girl. the waitress said "if you want me to bring out a bucket to puke in, just holler." so, next time i go, i will have that bucket next to me and be with a bunch of guys. i will force myself to eat the entire thing. or at least eat until i vomit.
i'm a bad mamma jamma
sushi man.
i saw the sushi man doin a funny little dance. it was random. completely out of the blue. he was just standing there, and then all of a sudden started wiggling his legs back and forth in a squirming kind of motion. i bust out laughing. i ask him, "what are you doing?" he says "too big." i paused, then started laughing about 7 hundred times harder. i'm positive everyone in the restaurant heard me.
"oh god! look at all that shit!" is what i said after looking at some baby shrimps. the sushi man heard me and then de-pooped the shrimp. i said, "can't you get sick from eating the poo?"
"no. eat poo. it's good (the shrimp poo). chinese people eat poo. they eat anything. every kind of poo. dog poo, cat poo, neehh neeehhh (he made a noise similar to a sheep because he doesn't know how to say sheep in english) poo, bird poo, kahh kahh!"
"crow?"
"yes. crow poo. poo taste is beddy (very) nICE (emphasis on ICE)."
FOBs rule.
st. patty's day.
i went to Wastern for this glorious holiday. damn it i love Wastern. i was with The Jeffrey, jon (his cousin) and tony at some guy's place to pregame. they had a pony (a quarter barrel to you uneducated lay people) and it was a decent way to start off the night. but.. the girls were pretty nasty. i said to jon "why couldn't there be a girl here that wasn't hidious?" The Jeffrey got hit on by a 6'1'' man of a woman. whatever, i got about 5 cups of berrr in me before the pony cashed. after the keg was tapped, the fun began.
tony brought some beads to the party. he gave one to some girl. another girl said how tacky the beads were. this is what blossomed into a solid 30 minutes of bitch on bitch entertainment. the girls bitched at each other for a while. then the group of girls who thought the beads were tacky decided to "bounce". as they were walking down the stairs the girl with the beads walked to the staircase and dumped a beer on the girls below. more profanity was used while the now beer soaked girls walked to their car. they pulled out of their parking spot and nearly hit a car circling the lot for a spot. this delay gave the girl with beads time to find an object that would fit well i her hand.
the object she chose happened to be a rock. the girls in the car and the girls outside were still bitching at each other. then it happened. the girl with the beads launched her rock at the car. BLLLIIIZZAAAMMN! she fuckin drilled the side of the car. it was bitch fighting at its best. we all left after because the girls called the cops to file a report.
the party.
the party was pretty great. the girls were good, the music was decent, and the beer was fan-fuckin-tasticly great. the first half barrel was green miller light. jahoo. but the second... the second was Killians Red. i was in heaven. i saw lesley (one of my friend's cousins) and met her suitmate stefanie. stefanie with a bloody f. they cool. i hung out with them for a lot of the party.
me, The Jeffrey, and jon were chilling. this chick with a big ass trucker hat bumped into me and covered my right arm in beer. jon said to the girl "lift up your hat" (so he could see her face) so she did, and then he pushed her hat back down on her head and said "don't lift up your hat". hahahaha.
there were three girls sitting at a table playing a card game. i watched. i shortly found out that they were playing go fish. i was amused. as i watched a bit longer i became more entertained. they were playing go fish, but didn't really know how to play. the girls kept asking questions about the game. they kind of just made stuff up as they went.
sat, 19th.
i ate lunch with my friend mike and jessica. we ate at a dinner. they had a burger called the "mega burger" it is 1 and 1/2 lbs of burger. and by burger, i really mean 1 1/2 lbs of beef. it's a whole lot of burger.
the rules:
must eat whole burger within 30 minutes.
must eat all fries also, within the 30 minute time period.
no trips to the bathroom. if you puke or poo or something, you lose.
i polished off just less that 3/4 of the burger. i nearly finished all the fries. the burger kicked my ass. but, and this is a big but... next time i go back home i will eat that god forsaken burger and i will wear the t-shirt with pride. i didn't want to eat myself into a coma, or eat so much that i'd vomit at the table because i was with a hot girl. the waitress said "if you want me to bring out a bucket to puke in, just holler." so, next time i go, i will have that bucket next to me and be with a bunch of guys. i will force myself to eat the entire thing. or at least eat until i vomit.
i'm a bad mamma jamma
posted by icon at 10:57 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home