it only took me 4 days to post this
God damn it. it is taking me forever to post. i started this bugger on the 21st. so yeah. that's that.
this is about my 4:20 holiday.
me and my buddy (remember that toy? with the jingle? my buddy, my buddy, my buddy and me. yeah? no? fuck you.) smoked a herb from God's green earth, and then went to a concert. guster and the ZAMBONIS. more about them (the zambonis) later. we were driving and we were running late. late is the mary j way i suppose. so i look at the digital display in my car for the time. this is what i said:
"SHIT! it's 3:30, 8:30, ah fuck it's 7:30"
about five minutes later my friend says to me..
"it's 3:43."
"What?"
"it's 3:43... wait.. FUCK! hahaha"
his problem was that he thought the elapsed time of the current song that was playing was the time. (fyi: my lil display guy shows digital time, cd track and elapsed time, and temp.) for some strange reason i couldn't read a digital clock and neither could my friend. we got to the concert a bit tardy.
let me back up a second. we had dinner. then we found mary jane, then we were late, then we went to the concert. at dinner we were still trying to get our hands on mary j. we're sitting at this lil diner type of joint and my friend gets a phone call. the waitress is standing right in front of us and he says on the phone quite loudly, "WHAT?! $20 for a dime?" she tried not to, but she was smiling. i busted out laughing and he was embarrassed. he made is way out the door soon after. when he came back in she told us how that made her day. super great.
my friend retains water in his bladder like a grandpa who wears depends. he pissed 3 times since we ate dinner. at dinner he drank 1 glass of water. one. i don't even think he finished it. but, when we got in my dorm room to pick up the tickets for the concert, he took about 7 minutes to drain the snake. about 10 seconds later as we were walking to the elevators on my floor, i asked him if he needed to use the bathroom (there's a community one aside from the bathrooms we share with a couple suitmates). he said yes.
you see, i asked him if he wanted to use the bathroom again because i thought i had the pot on me so i could go in there and roll a J to smoke on the way to the concerto. too bad i left it in the car. so we're both in the bathroom. and as i was explaining this to him, he started to piss... again. i was talking to him when he first started to tinkle. he told me to turn around. it took him another 3 minutes for that piss. and for the entire duration of the piss, he laughed at his penis. i was quite amused. after he pissed he washed his hands then dried them off. we walked out of the single person potty room, together. holding hands. er.. nevermind.
we got out of the w.c. and i asked him, "did you flush?"
he said "no. i didn't want to touch the thing."
"it's one of the ones that you can step on to flush."
"oh... i couldn't find it."
:) mary jane makes people funny. i like it.
he must have drained 2 pounds of water out of his body. it was incredible.
we finally arrived at the concert. we got out of the car and i started to walk away. i turned around and saw my friend standing with is back to my car and aimed at the car infront of him. he was pissing yet again. the boy has got something wrong with his pee pee tract, bladder, or something.
as we entered, our ears were graced with the most fantastic sounds ever created by man. it was Guster's opening band, THE ZAMBONIS. and yes, i will capitalize each letter of their band's name because they flippin rule.
the zambonis kick a whole lotta ass. they dig hockey. they dig it so much that they make music about fuckin hockey.
a couple song titles are, "minor leagues" and "break away." the lyrics to "break away" went a lil something like this: pass the puck up. pass it past the blue line to start a breakaway! breakaway!
they're a for real band. can you believe this shit? it's golden.
i need a fackin digi for the bazillionth time. fuck. i bought their t-shirt. i want to show it to you, but i can't. so their little slogan or motto or whatever the fuck it is, must suffice (uh.. is that proper grammar? probably not.). "songs about hockey, life, love... and hockey."
"why are you buying a zamboni's shirt?" a girl friend asked.
"because they were so incredibly aweful."
one of the band members was standing against the wall about 8 feet from where i said that in his direction. mruahaha. i mean.. oops?
every single fuckin song they sang was about their pathetic lives, and how much they loved being wanna-be hockey jocks.
http://www.thezambonis.com/zamboni.ram
that my friends, is the band THE ZAMBONIS rocking out the song, "I Wanna Drive the Zamboni"
music doesn't get much better than that.
i'm sick of this post. it's has taken an eternity, so next is White Castle, and then some random conversations that you all love mucho grande.
me and my friend got 5 sliders a peice. i finshed my value meal and was cravin some more. i went back up and ordered three more cheesy burgers. this is how it went down:
"can i have 3 cheesey burgers?"
[pause] the guy knows i'm high.
"....with cheese?"
he rings me up for like $2.14 i reach in my pocket and find a stash of change. i was exuberant. i announced quite proudly, "i have change!" the guy is irritated. so i proceed to count out my monies. i transfered a dime from my right hand to my left (all the change was in my right hand). then i see two sparkling pennies. so i reach with my left hand and pick up one penny, lay it flat in my left hand to look at (you know.. make sure it's still a penny) then repeated with the second penny.
i was having so much fun you wouldn't believe. then i noticed something. the only thing left in my right hand was a quarter. so after spending like 4 minutes counting out exact change, i didn't have it. i handed him the quarter and smiled. he didn't smile back. i left with my greasy burgers and ate them contently (once again.. grammar really isn't my thing. contently? can you do something contently? wtf mates).
Random Convos with the roomie.
"do you ever play with your toes? then sniff your hand?" i said. my roomate hates feet, and i like to fuck around with him. i was holding up a foot with all the fingers of my right hand inbetween the toes.
he replied, "no. but i pick my toes. i pick the nails and go [this is where he put a hand up to his nose and sniffed with all his might]"
roomie: do you know the third strike? [he was talking about jail, and drug time.]
me: yea. after the third strike means death.
roomie: what?!
me: uh.. nevermind, what is it?
roomie: after the third time you get arrested they put you in jail for like 25 years. so blah blah blah [i tuned him out.]
i made a boo boo. then i thought, maybe that was texan law. haha
this is about my 4:20 holiday.
me and my buddy (remember that toy? with the jingle? my buddy, my buddy, my buddy and me. yeah? no? fuck you.) smoked a herb from God's green earth, and then went to a concert. guster and the ZAMBONIS. more about them (the zambonis) later. we were driving and we were running late. late is the mary j way i suppose. so i look at the digital display in my car for the time. this is what i said:
"SHIT! it's 3:30, 8:30, ah fuck it's 7:30"
about five minutes later my friend says to me..
"it's 3:43."
"What?"
"it's 3:43... wait.. FUCK! hahaha"
his problem was that he thought the elapsed time of the current song that was playing was the time. (fyi: my lil display guy shows digital time, cd track and elapsed time, and temp.) for some strange reason i couldn't read a digital clock and neither could my friend. we got to the concert a bit tardy.
let me back up a second. we had dinner. then we found mary jane, then we were late, then we went to the concert. at dinner we were still trying to get our hands on mary j. we're sitting at this lil diner type of joint and my friend gets a phone call. the waitress is standing right in front of us and he says on the phone quite loudly, "WHAT?! $20 for a dime?" she tried not to, but she was smiling. i busted out laughing and he was embarrassed. he made is way out the door soon after. when he came back in she told us how that made her day. super great.
my friend retains water in his bladder like a grandpa who wears depends. he pissed 3 times since we ate dinner. at dinner he drank 1 glass of water. one. i don't even think he finished it. but, when we got in my dorm room to pick up the tickets for the concert, he took about 7 minutes to drain the snake. about 10 seconds later as we were walking to the elevators on my floor, i asked him if he needed to use the bathroom (there's a community one aside from the bathrooms we share with a couple suitmates). he said yes.
you see, i asked him if he wanted to use the bathroom again because i thought i had the pot on me so i could go in there and roll a J to smoke on the way to the concerto. too bad i left it in the car. so we're both in the bathroom. and as i was explaining this to him, he started to piss... again. i was talking to him when he first started to tinkle. he told me to turn around. it took him another 3 minutes for that piss. and for the entire duration of the piss, he laughed at his penis. i was quite amused. after he pissed he washed his hands then dried them off. we walked out of the single person potty room, together. holding hands. er.. nevermind.
we got out of the w.c. and i asked him, "did you flush?"
he said "no. i didn't want to touch the thing."
"it's one of the ones that you can step on to flush."
"oh... i couldn't find it."
:) mary jane makes people funny. i like it.
he must have drained 2 pounds of water out of his body. it was incredible.
we finally arrived at the concert. we got out of the car and i started to walk away. i turned around and saw my friend standing with is back to my car and aimed at the car infront of him. he was pissing yet again. the boy has got something wrong with his pee pee tract, bladder, or something.
as we entered, our ears were graced with the most fantastic sounds ever created by man. it was Guster's opening band, THE ZAMBONIS. and yes, i will capitalize each letter of their band's name because they flippin rule.
the zambonis kick a whole lotta ass. they dig hockey. they dig it so much that they make music about fuckin hockey.
a couple song titles are, "minor leagues" and "break away." the lyrics to "break away" went a lil something like this: pass the puck up. pass it past the blue line to start a breakaway! breakaway!
they're a for real band. can you believe this shit? it's golden.
i need a fackin digi for the bazillionth time. fuck. i bought their t-shirt. i want to show it to you, but i can't. so their little slogan or motto or whatever the fuck it is, must suffice (uh.. is that proper grammar? probably not.). "songs about hockey, life, love... and hockey."
"why are you buying a zamboni's shirt?" a girl friend asked.
"because they were so incredibly aweful."
one of the band members was standing against the wall about 8 feet from where i said that in his direction. mruahaha. i mean.. oops?
every single fuckin song they sang was about their pathetic lives, and how much they loved being wanna-be hockey jocks.
http://www.thezambonis.com/zamboni.ram
that my friends, is the band THE ZAMBONIS rocking out the song, "I Wanna Drive the Zamboni"
music doesn't get much better than that.
i'm sick of this post. it's has taken an eternity, so next is White Castle, and then some random conversations that you all love mucho grande.
me and my friend got 5 sliders a peice. i finshed my value meal and was cravin some more. i went back up and ordered three more cheesy burgers. this is how it went down:
"can i have 3 cheesey burgers?"
[pause] the guy knows i'm high.
"....with cheese?"
he rings me up for like $2.14 i reach in my pocket and find a stash of change. i was exuberant. i announced quite proudly, "i have change!" the guy is irritated. so i proceed to count out my monies. i transfered a dime from my right hand to my left (all the change was in my right hand). then i see two sparkling pennies. so i reach with my left hand and pick up one penny, lay it flat in my left hand to look at (you know.. make sure it's still a penny) then repeated with the second penny.
i was having so much fun you wouldn't believe. then i noticed something. the only thing left in my right hand was a quarter. so after spending like 4 minutes counting out exact change, i didn't have it. i handed him the quarter and smiled. he didn't smile back. i left with my greasy burgers and ate them contently (once again.. grammar really isn't my thing. contently? can you do something contently? wtf mates).
Random Convos with the roomie.
"do you ever play with your toes? then sniff your hand?" i said. my roomate hates feet, and i like to fuck around with him. i was holding up a foot with all the fingers of my right hand inbetween the toes.
he replied, "no. but i pick my toes. i pick the nails and go [this is where he put a hand up to his nose and sniffed with all his might]"
roomie: do you know the third strike? [he was talking about jail, and drug time.]
me: yea. after the third strike means death.
roomie: what?!
me: uh.. nevermind, what is it?
roomie: after the third time you get arrested they put you in jail for like 25 years. so blah blah blah [i tuned him out.]
i made a boo boo. then i thought, maybe that was texan law. haha
posted by icon at 12:00 AM
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