shakes and steaks.
me and The Jeffrey had a swell dinner at steak and shake the other day. it was pretty fantastic. we were catching up while enjoying our respective beverages. things were normal for about the first 10 minutes of our dining experience that night. then a black girl sat down next to me. she introduced herself. then she called over her white trash friend. she invited her friend to sit. they started hitting on us. it was kind of strange i must admit.
they were telemarketers. they were very bad telemarketers. the girl sitting next to me was saying how she sold nothing today, one thing yesterday, and nothing the day before. the white trashy girl i think sold one more thing than the black chick. they were both huge and embarrassing failures.
The Jeffrey started whistling. i'm not sure if it was out of boredom, or just because he enjoys music and whistling. the black girl loved it. (at this point, another black chick sat at our table and joined us) so, the chick sitting next to me noticed the whistling and started to brag that she was the best whistler in the world. or something like that. all her friends agreed. this black chick was a phenom when it came to whistling.
she asked if we wanted to hear her whistle a song. intrigued, i encouraged her. so she started to whistle. she fuckin sucked at whistling. sucked ass. it was hilarious. then she asked us if we knew what song it was. we didn't know. so she started to sing the song. it went something like this... "you see my dick? you see my dick? i'll beat up yo pussy. bam bam bam!" me and The Jeffrey were dying. it was so damn funny. while singing and whistling, she danced. she danced something fierce. it was a thrusting, lets make babies kind of dance. i suppose it went well with the song.
after she sang some of the song, she asked us again if we recognized it. The Jeffrey told her no matter what song she whistled, we wouldn't recognize it. (haha.. The Jeffrey commented afterwards that we're like 'the two whitest guys' at steak and shake. hahaha i guess i'm white now.)
are you guys getting the humor here? a black chick who randomly sat next to me, was thrusting her hips while WHISTLING A RAP SONG (poorly).
the black chick who sat next to me was named erica. i'm not sure why i'm mentioning this so late, but, whatever, i do what i want. erica is poor. she makes no monies when she goes to work because she's terrible at what she does. the foreplay was her hitting on us, the climax would be getting food in her black belly. so she started begging The Jeffrey to buy her a sandwich.
it was so fuckin strange. she sat down and tried to get to know us so she could get some food in her belly. she was like one notch higher than a hobo. she had a job but it yields zero monies, and she also hits on guys to get food instead of sitting outside the restaurant begging for monies.
the last thing The Jeffrey wanted to do was buy that bitch a burger. this is when the begging got good. she wanted to give The Jeffrey collateral. she promised to pay The Jeffrey back on friday. she said she'd give him her address, phone number, last 4 digits of her social security number... haha the works (what the fuck could The Jeffrey do with the last 4 digits of a soc number? not a God damn thing). she dug through her purse trying to find collateral to leave with The Jeffrey. it was fan-fuckin-tastic.
i'm le tired.
the end.
"i reached back like a pimp and i slapped the ho."
they were telemarketers. they were very bad telemarketers. the girl sitting next to me was saying how she sold nothing today, one thing yesterday, and nothing the day before. the white trashy girl i think sold one more thing than the black chick. they were both huge and embarrassing failures.
The Jeffrey started whistling. i'm not sure if it was out of boredom, or just because he enjoys music and whistling. the black girl loved it. (at this point, another black chick sat at our table and joined us) so, the chick sitting next to me noticed the whistling and started to brag that she was the best whistler in the world. or something like that. all her friends agreed. this black chick was a phenom when it came to whistling.
she asked if we wanted to hear her whistle a song. intrigued, i encouraged her. so she started to whistle. she fuckin sucked at whistling. sucked ass. it was hilarious. then she asked us if we knew what song it was. we didn't know. so she started to sing the song. it went something like this... "you see my dick? you see my dick? i'll beat up yo pussy. bam bam bam!" me and The Jeffrey were dying. it was so damn funny. while singing and whistling, she danced. she danced something fierce. it was a thrusting, lets make babies kind of dance. i suppose it went well with the song.
after she sang some of the song, she asked us again if we recognized it. The Jeffrey told her no matter what song she whistled, we wouldn't recognize it. (haha.. The Jeffrey commented afterwards that we're like 'the two whitest guys' at steak and shake. hahaha i guess i'm white now.)
are you guys getting the humor here? a black chick who randomly sat next to me, was thrusting her hips while WHISTLING A RAP SONG (poorly).
the black chick who sat next to me was named erica. i'm not sure why i'm mentioning this so late, but, whatever, i do what i want. erica is poor. she makes no monies when she goes to work because she's terrible at what she does. the foreplay was her hitting on us, the climax would be getting food in her black belly. so she started begging The Jeffrey to buy her a sandwich.
it was so fuckin strange. she sat down and tried to get to know us so she could get some food in her belly. she was like one notch higher than a hobo. she had a job but it yields zero monies, and she also hits on guys to get food instead of sitting outside the restaurant begging for monies.
the last thing The Jeffrey wanted to do was buy that bitch a burger. this is when the begging got good. she wanted to give The Jeffrey collateral. she promised to pay The Jeffrey back on friday. she said she'd give him her address, phone number, last 4 digits of her social security number... haha the works (what the fuck could The Jeffrey do with the last 4 digits of a soc number? not a God damn thing). she dug through her purse trying to find collateral to leave with The Jeffrey. it was fan-fuckin-tastic.
i'm le tired.
the end.
"i reached back like a pimp and i slapped the ho."
posted by icon at 10:34 PM
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