study break
final exams are F'in me in the A. like usual, i've decided to wait until the day of or the day before my finals to start studying for them. i haven't learned my lesson yet. i guess i'm ok with no sleep for a week and being a complete ass for that time period. i find it's worth it when i've done close to zero work all year long. this is why studying is a necessity. i rely so heavily on the final to boost my grades.
but school is boring. i'd bitch about it some more if my blog stunk more than a neglected child with mud butt.
so.
here are some words for you to read that have nothing to do with school and or shitty things.
something you don't see everyday...
i saw a chrysler sebring on the highway a few days ago. if you don't know what a sebring is i'll paint you a damn fine picture. the sebring is a female version of a ford taurus. and if you don't know what a taurus is, next time you're driving, pick out a long, ordinary car with zero aesthetic value. that car is probably a taurus. if it isn't, who fuckin cares. it's boring and unimportant really. so this chick taurus is cruisin in front of me, and i noticed something a bit different about it. it had a custom license plate.
i dig custom plates, especially ones that are written sans vowels, or in some crazy shorthand. i do enjoy me a clever jumble of letters that when sounded out resemble a semi humorous word or phrase. example: fck n sht. can't say i've ever seen that on a plate, but i'm sure it or something like it exists and is hardcore awesome.
so, about the plate on the sebring. it was a single word. spelled correctly. it looked quite swell in the center of that plate. it read "shaven".
that got my attention right quick. a notorious chick vehicle with a custom license plate that said "shaven" on it. i swiftly moved into the left lane and proceeded to pass. i got even with the sebring, then matched its speed. i turn my head and checked out the driver.
she was the most gorgeous woman my asian eyes had ever gazed upon.
that'd be a pretty decent story, but it would also be a fabricated one. unfortunately, the world's most attractive woman did not rest her sweet ass on the driver's seat of that chrysler sebring. i didn't undress her then make sweet sweet love to her with my eyes. instead, i quickly pried my eyes off of the lady driver. it turned out to be a 70 year old (give or take 15 years... i couldn't really tell, nor did i give a fuck how old the broad was), descheveled woman driving that heap of american shit.
i quickly sped past her. once i got over the fact that i just checked out a tired and used up old woman, i had myself a wicked good laugh. i pondered why on earth she was sportin the word "shaven" on her license plate. i hoped to God that it had nothing to do with her rotten grandma crotch. i guess only the jesus man [feel free to insert your God in place of 'the jesus man'] will know. lucky Him. i'm positive that no sane man (or woman if they swung that way) would ever go near her female junk.
yuck.
but school is boring. i'd bitch about it some more if my blog stunk more than a neglected child with mud butt.
so.
here are some words for you to read that have nothing to do with school and or shitty things.
something you don't see everyday...
i saw a chrysler sebring on the highway a few days ago. if you don't know what a sebring is i'll paint you a damn fine picture. the sebring is a female version of a ford taurus. and if you don't know what a taurus is, next time you're driving, pick out a long, ordinary car with zero aesthetic value. that car is probably a taurus. if it isn't, who fuckin cares. it's boring and unimportant really. so this chick taurus is cruisin in front of me, and i noticed something a bit different about it. it had a custom license plate.
i dig custom plates, especially ones that are written sans vowels, or in some crazy shorthand. i do enjoy me a clever jumble of letters that when sounded out resemble a semi humorous word or phrase. example: fck n sht. can't say i've ever seen that on a plate, but i'm sure it or something like it exists and is hardcore awesome.
so, about the plate on the sebring. it was a single word. spelled correctly. it looked quite swell in the center of that plate. it read "shaven".
that got my attention right quick. a notorious chick vehicle with a custom license plate that said "shaven" on it. i swiftly moved into the left lane and proceeded to pass. i got even with the sebring, then matched its speed. i turn my head and checked out the driver.
she was the most gorgeous woman my asian eyes had ever gazed upon.
that'd be a pretty decent story, but it would also be a fabricated one. unfortunately, the world's most attractive woman did not rest her sweet ass on the driver's seat of that chrysler sebring. i didn't undress her then make sweet sweet love to her with my eyes. instead, i quickly pried my eyes off of the lady driver. it turned out to be a 70 year old (give or take 15 years... i couldn't really tell, nor did i give a fuck how old the broad was), descheveled woman driving that heap of american shit.
i quickly sped past her. once i got over the fact that i just checked out a tired and used up old woman, i had myself a wicked good laugh. i pondered why on earth she was sportin the word "shaven" on her license plate. i hoped to God that it had nothing to do with her rotten grandma crotch. i guess only the jesus man [feel free to insert your God in place of 'the jesus man'] will know. lucky Him. i'm positive that no sane man (or woman if they swung that way) would ever go near her female junk.
yuck.
posted by icon at 11:47 PM
1 Comments:
oh God, tenz, but i do love your stories.
i'm going to imagine she shaves her chin everyday.
as for cramming for tests and term papers and crap like that? my method: wait till about midnight, sit down at the kitchen table (or desk or whatever you have) and cry for a few minutes, then go to bed. everything's better in the morning.
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