did what i said i wasn't gonna do...

i'm too fuckin lazy to write in this damn thing. i'll do it sometime. promise.

i protect peoples' names. i do this whether or not they want their names to be protected. i do it because it gives me a kick. i laugh so hard when i read the fake names. i read the names aloud then laugh super hard then say to myself, "boy that's silly. that's not even close to my friend's real name!" [chuckle, chuckle, and a knee slap]

i chose scooter for my friend and mukahla for me. mukahla is "michael" in swahili. why am i using a name other than my own? because i rule. and you don't.

from now on, i'm not gonna tell you who's who. i'm just gonna make up names and you will go to the grave pondering who the bloody hell duwan was. i even wrote about someone and it was kind of mean. funny, but mean. she read it, laughed, and made fun of said girl. this girl she was making fun of turned out to be her. she just doesn't know it yet. mruahaha...

scooter: let's get drunk before work
mukahla: i like that idea
scooter: we can sit on the hood of my trans am and throw empty bottles at cars
scooter: I'll have to find my teeth if we're going to do that
mukahla: hahaha
mukahla: that's fuckin awesome
mukahla: thats probably the sweetest thing i've heard all week
scooter: (h)
scooter: I wish they had a smiley icon w/ a mullet
mukahla: (h)?
scooter: that's as close as we can get
scooter: I'm making an organizational chart for engineering-- super exciting
mukahla: to a smiley with a mullet?
scooter: yes
mukahla: oh i see it now
mukahla: you're fucked up in the head.
mukahla: like whoa.
scooter: years of whoring around and drinking will make you crazy
mukahla: i suppose
mukahla: i'm not really sure where the whoring around part fits in, but whatever.


for those of you who know me, i'm a shitty student. i don't do what i'm suppose to do (ie: i don't study, i don't pay attention in class, i don't usually do homework, i forget about quizzes, etc..). to give you an example i regress to the good 'ol days at Wastern Michigan University (WMU). i forget what class it was in, but that really doesn't matter. the point is this... we had a mid term and a final exam online. for both exams, the students were allotted (uh.. i don't care about spelling anymore. shit i don't even know if that's a real word) a full week to take said exam.

because the exams were online and you could take them in the privacy of your own home, they were open book. pretty sweet ay. well, i missed the mid term. i had a fuckin week to take it and i forgot to do it. i sweet talked the bitch and some how got her to let me take it. pretty bad ass. the final came along and i didn't want to make the same mistake as i did before. i kept on reminding myself how i needed to take the test. my reminders weren't good enough. lightning struck twice.

WHY THE FUCK AM I TYPING SUCH LAME WORDS???? I'M USING LAME, CLICHE PHRASES AND I'M TYPING IN ALL CAPS. GET PISSED, BECAUSE I AM.

i forgot to take the final. aside from going down on the broad, there wasn't a repercussion for my action (er.. lack of action i suppose).

looking even further back down memory lane (i might as well go buck wild with the lame phrases since i've already used one), i'll cite another example of dumbassness. the second time i took the ACTs i fell asleep during the reading portion of the exam. the person administering the exam announced that there was 5 minutes left in the section. that woke me from my slumber. i feverishly bubbled in all the bubbles. then i read some of the questions and tried to make slightly more educated guesses. i only made a few "corrections" to my initial bubbled in answers because i didn't have a clue what the fuck i was doing. i didn't read any of the essays required to answer questions correctly. if my memory serves me correct i got a 12 on that part. a 23 overall. one point less than the first time i took it.

so... now that you have the cliff notes on my academic history, i'll share a more recent short story that divulges yet another blunder for the books. i got all B's and one C. a 2.8 GPA. didn't hit the 3.0 that an underachiever such as i shoots for, but i did manage a C in a class that i was failing or on the verge of failing for the entire year.

i had a 63% going into the final exam. the class was accounting. i hate accounting. so if your momma is an accountant, i hate her. if my calculations were correct, i needed upwards of an 86% on the final to get a C in the class. on the final exam i forgot to do the last page.

there was one test that was multiple choice, and the second test was doin a workbook or something like that. the second test had 4 pages. i only did 3 of them. the last one i saw after time was up. i said FUCK, then proceeded to write down random numbers.

i've settled to settle for my entire academic career. why change now? i've perfected the art of slacking. errbody thought i was gonna fail. haha i kind of did too. SUCK ON THESE ASIAN NUTS PURDUE.

i'm a motha fuckin scholar.